I have received numerous emails over the last few years asking me what is my secret to overcoming adversity. How did I achieve my relative success and fight back from depression, become a group CEO, run my own business, be an expert coach and become an author.
(Yeah sounds rather self-promotional eh? But I do have point to make)
It is always a pleasure to receive these emails and I always find them humbling too.
I can’t answer every single one, as time and other commitments do not permit; hence why I write these blogs here and on my other site.
Different Time, Same Email
Not so long ago, I received the same request from a person who I did answer on two separate occasions in the past. So this was the third time he was asking me the very same question.
Each time, the requests have been about a year apart. Each time he has been in the same position as he was the year before.
Because of the language patterns in his full email to me I decided to send him a rather insulting reply.
For the purposes of anonymity, I shall refer to him as John. Here is a copy of the email I sent him.
|My scathing reply|
My Insulting Reply
By not following any of the steps in the previous 2 emails (if you had, like you said you would the second time I replied, I wouldn't be receiving such drivel from you now.) I am replying with the following.
I really do not know what the secret is or what the strategies are to being successful in life or in business.
But I do know a few things you can do that will guarantee you will never find success, happiness or fulfillment on the scale you say you desire. In fact the list below will probably increase your inner sense of misery and send you to your grave with unfulfilled dreams.
From your latest email, it is obvious you are already doing some of them. Why not just do some more? What I suggest is for you to really dive in...really immerse yourself in as many as you can...
- Stay in the job that gives no personal satisfaction until the day you retire (Don’t worry about the threat of technology or others replacing you)
- Watch endless hours of mindless T.V. every night.
- Make yet another to-do-list and place as your # 1 priority, starting your own business.
- Aimlessly walk around shopping malls at the weekends.
- Don’t bother trying to discover what you love to do and carry on living your life without purpose.
- Keep reading ‘How to’ books and kidding yourself you are learning (Especially those that contain secrets to success, money, happiness and that require no effort from you)
- Stay locked in fear
- Waste time envying all those other happy, successful people who have it all so easy.
- Ensure you go on Facebook for at least 2 hours everyday (There are some great cat videos for you to watch)
- Recall any past event when you tried to improve your situation and it didn’t work out, vividly. Then tell yourself what a fool you were for even trying.
- Focus your time and energy on all the things that bring you instant gratification.
- Don’t waste your precious TV time writing out your dreams, aspirations, hopes or goals.
- Keep worrying about what everyone else is thinking about you.
- Play your mental video of you failing every day…at least 5 times.
- Wait for the perfect timing. Yesterday wasn’t right, today certainly isn’t. Start tomorrow.
- Keep blaming your parents for not encouraging you.
- Your teacher for those fateful words all those years ago, “You’ll never amount to anything”
- The government. The economy, your partner, your past, your lack of education.
- You could even throw in your star sign, feng Shui or your date of birth while you are in the mode of blame
- Wait for “Things” to improve all by themselves (I'm sure you believe in magic)
- Keep telling yourself, you’re right-and that your past and current circumstances are so unique…so individual…no one has ever had the crap, or got the problems you have now, as bad as you.
- Keep playing your victim role and keep asking yourself, 'Why me?'
Good luck (I’m sure one day it will strike). Please do not bother letting me know when you are in an even worse position than you are now. Life moves on with or without you, so you will, in effect, be moving backwards.
PS I really don't want to hear any more of your moaning emails. So you needn't reply to this one either.
At first, like a lot of people would be, he was enraged when he got my reply. But it spurred him into action. It was what he needed to hear to wake up.
This great guy is now receiving coaching and making excellent progress.