Saturday, 16 July 2016

Worried What Other People Think About You? Don't Be.

How many people do you know who are fearful of what other people think? I know many. And it's not just with young folk either; I know older people who are paralysed by what they think others will think about them.

So if you fall into this very common fear of what others will think about you if you try this, do that, chase that big goal, change your job, move away from the area, want to dress differently or whatever, I am going to have to burst your bubble right now.

Nobody is really thinking about you. You are NOT in their thoughts for that long. People have far more to concern themselves with than thinking about you.

Think about it for a moment. How long do you spend thinking about other people? I mean how long are they actually in your mind? And do they even know you are thinking about them?

People are more wrapped up thinking about you are thinking about them rather than thinking about you.

A Lesson I learned in my 40's

From my early teens to my late 20's I was bothered about what other people might think about me. In my thirties, my attitude changed to, I don't care what other people think about me. Then suddenly, in my forties, I finally realised that nobody was really thinking about me.
other people, thoughts, liking you, robert d hamilton
Not everyone in your circle will like you. Accept it.

It's all about the Numbers

So let's look at it a little deeper. Let's say you are about to start your own business and you are going to be in the public eye more often by being more active across your social media channels. You are going to create a facebook page, a blog and a twitter account.

You are going to be more open to the opinions of other people. Here's how I look at it, I hope it helps you.

Some people will love what you do. They will adore you and become your tribe....waiting to read what you have been doing and your opinions on things. You'll be in their thoughts for a few moments and their feelings for you will increase slightly.

However, soon they will be back to their own world and their own agenda. They will more than likely be busy thinking about their big goals. They will no longer be thinking about you. Sorry about that.

Some people will only like what you do. They will be interested and probably recommend you. They will even talk nicely about you. You'll be in their thoughts for a few moments while they are interacting with you.

However, soon they will be back to their busy life, thinking about the next mortgage payment, picking the kids up from school, their diet or walking the dog. YOU, will not be in their thoughts.

Some people will be neutral. This group are apathetic to you what you do. They just don't care. You will never really be in their thoughts.

Some people will detest you, what you do, your opinions and everything you stand for. They will be envious of you and bitter. But it's not about you. It's about them. You are merely highlighting their lack in some area of their life.

That's how small minded people think. And I know you aren't one of those!

However, even these people will not be thinking about you for long. Soon, they will be channeling their negative energy elsewhere. As they watch you go on from success to success in whatever you are doing, they will leave.

But here's the big deal...

If you change who you are to get the neutrals to like you or the people who like you to love you; or the people who fleetingly despise you to like you, it won't work.

Yes the people who once liked you might now love you, but the ones who loved you might now be neutral about you. Do you get that?

In other words, it's just a numbers a game. You will always get people falling into these same groups no matter what you do, how you behave, what you think or what you try to (and do) achieve.

Be Authentic, Rise Above and Remember, Nobody is Really Thinking About You that Much

So just be beautiful, authentic you. People aren't really thinking about you. They have so much going on in their lives, you really aren't at the top of that agenda. You aren't that important and I don't care who you are.

Plus, how on earth are you going to control what others think? You can't. But what you can do is just be you. Keep moving forward just being you. Let your authenticity shine through.

People have more to think about than spending so much time thinking about you.

In my stats from Google analytics, I get people who 'bounce off' my blog posts. This means I show up in a search result, they click on the blog, read a couple of lines and then quickly click the back button.

They don't like what I have written. So what? Sometimes, I get people who email me and say what I have written is drivel, nonsense or totally disagree with me. That's great. I am creating waves.

Should I try and change what I write and how I write to change this? No. It will still happen no matter what I write. So what?

Don't let the brief thoughts or opinions of other people stop you from achieving

Yes those few haters might pop up and say something derogatory about you. Again, so what? They will soon move on to somebody new. Rise above such petty thinking. Take any successful person and they all have people who don't like them.

Your President or Prime Minister of your country is a prime example. Look what they go through and have to deal with every single day. But they keep pressing forward.

If you want to be successful or just do what makes you happy, you have to accept some people not liking you or disagreeing.

So go ahead. Give your dreams a shot. Go for the goal, change your job, start your business or whatever else it is you want to do.

You CAN achieve.

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