Monday, 5 December 2016

How Many Times Have You REALLY Tried to Achieve?

More often than not we think we have tried lots of times to achieve what we want but usually, the reality is a lot different; we try a couple of times and then give up. 

Or we can think we have been pursuing our goal with concerted effort for a longer period of time than we actually have been.

Before I meet my clients for a coaching session I ask myself some questions. These are to get me focused and kind of climb into the mind of who I will be seeing. 
keep trying you will get a breakthrough
How many times have you really tried?

I ask myself, I wonder what is stopping this person getting or achieving what they want? I wonder what, specifically, they have done about it?

One of the important things I want to know is how many times they have tried to change their results or circumstances.

For example if an entrepreneur needed a back loan to expand their business and have been refused, I want to know how many banks they have approached.

If somebody else comes to see me because they want to start their own business but feel like they have failed before, I want to know how many times they have actually 'failed'.

If somebody wants to change careers and land their dream job but aren't managing to secure interviews, I want to know how many applications they have submitted.

(Of course, when I meet them these are questions that I ask them. I don't judge their answers, thought patterns or any lack of action, it just helps me build a picture of where my client is at so I can best help them)

In most of the above examples, the entrepreneur has probably been refused by one or two banks. The person who has plucked up the courage to try and start their own business again, has probably had one previous 'failure'. And the employee has probably sent her CV to two companies.

Their answers reveal a lot to me about their psyche on many levels.

More often than not we think we have tried lots of times to achieve what we want but usually, the reality is a lot different; we try a couple of times and then give up.

It is because all of these examples are a form of rejection. And any rejection we are on the end of takes the same neural pathways in the body as actual physical pain. This means the rejection stands out in our memories stronger, so it appears and feels like we have tried more than we think we have.

You Have to Try More and for Longer

We all know about the Thomas Edison lightbulb story and the 1021 times he tried.

And then there is the co-founder of twitter Biz Stone, who approached I think it was over 300 investors to get funding.


I once read of a now famous actress who told one of her friends, "I have only been rejected 23 times this week. I need to get to more auditions"

20 odd times a week, every week.

And then there is Saraa Alto who has just made it into the X-Factor finals (UK) this week. She has been trying for 15 years.

15 years!

You have the author Sue Townsend (The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole fame) who was writing the stories for 20 years before she got published.

20 years!

So be honest, how many times have you really tried or for how long at what you want to achieve?

In my own life recently I haven't pursued one of my side projects as many times as I should or as much as I thought I had. It was only when I stopped and asked myself the question that the light of reality was switched on.

I want to rewrite a classic self-improvement book and bring it into the 21st century. I have only had 5 'no responses' from 3 emails and two phone calls from the publisher who holds the rights to the book.

I need to ask more. I need to try more and so I shall.

Ask yourself, how many times have you really tried? Or for how long have you actually been trying?

Take the rejection on the chin. Learn from it. There is always something positive you can take away from the experience, even if the rejection comes in the form of a loss of a business. 

If, after several attempts they aren't working, change your approach, do something different. Keep trying new approaches until you find what does work.

Or have you given up now that you have experienced a couple of 'No's'?

If you fully believe in what you want to do, have a high sense of self-worth and confidence, you will try more often and for longer periods of time. If you feel like that, why on earth would you want to even contemplate giving up?

To speed up the process of achieving what you want get yourself an outstanding coach. They can help you get there faster.

They can help you build on your belief and confidence, two of the cornerstones to all achievement. And of course, help you deal with rejection in a way that it won't prevent you from giving up on your dreams.

And that is the biggest form of personal, self-inflicted rejection.

So keep trying. Try more and more and soon enough you will get your breakthrough.

Want to make 2017 your best year ever? Then take advantage of my guaranteed coaching offer. Whilst you still can or email me directly here.